Death of the Heartbreaker: August 2007

Memories

The pains she had caused
The tears she had forced
The hearts she had crushed
The love she had lost

All no more than memories
Memories better left for the dead
better left for the past
better left behind

Yet, memories which refuse to let go
Virgin memories of suffering
Scarring memories
Printed memories

Its almost gothic
knowing that these memories
these very heartaches
have only got me urging for more

despite the pains and tears
I remain faithful to her
Till i find another excuse
just to be with her

Lovely Doves

I wonder if she ever felt
the same feelings which i had
the feelings of love and doubt
the feelings of undoubted love
these feelings of hope

I wonder if she ever had
what it took to love
love only that which could love
love only those who did love
the love which survives

I wonder if she ever knew
what life could be
with just one other
what life could be
without fake emotions

If only she could
understand what it means
to be...to see... to feel... to taste
love as it is
without ties and lies
as though it were
mere lovely doves

There She Stood

when i was young.. I had been told that you can have whatever you want...
i believed them...
i believed in sincere want
till that very day when want had become cant

There she stood... innocent yet guilty
not at fault yet filled with anxiety
because my want was not hers
and her want was in another

There she stood.. flattered yet dissapointed
soaring further and further
everytime a confession was made
everytime i thought of her

there she stood.. 3000 miles away
wanting something i couldn't give her
wanting someone i couldnt be
wanting him more than me

Yet, i waited
Coz i wanted
her to be part of me
and me to be part of her

so i continued to believe
in these lies
in these false hopes
there she stood
innocent yet guilty